Friends

He knew the relationship was doomed the moment she got out of bed and began praying loudly. She was in fact louder than she had been throughout their hour long bout of love making. Well, he thought it had been love making. But as he listened to her at the foot of the bed with her hands clasped together so tightly that her knuckles were white and her eyes clamped shut as she swayed back and forth slowly in her nakedness, he learned that he was wrong.

"Oh dear Lord," she called out so loudly that ne nearly fell out of the bed, "please take us into your loving bosom and forgive us the wanton carnality of our acts in your divine presence. Know, oh mighty God, that it was not my wish to transgress so egriously. I did not wish to indulge in drink and flesh..."

And that's how it went for ten minutes; her espousing to an appearantly angry and bitter god how terribly wicked and evil they both were but oh golly gee, Mr Jesus, I sure hope you'll forgive us. Meanwhile, he slowly crawled deeper into the relative safety and comfort the down comforter his grandmother had made for him and wondered what she'd say about him now.

"...and I certainly did not expect or grant him permission to stick his finger in my ass, Jesus," she said. "And while the sex was fantastic, for that alone you may smite him however you see fit."

"So, you won't be staying for pancakes then?" he said with a sigh.

This is a piece of flashfic - roughly 500 words long. It addresses vaguely the idea of being gender queer, transitioning, coming of age, and generally being a miserable young adult. The subject's name is Kyle.

( skinny hands, bony wrists, spindly fingers )

Another Poem.

( Read more... )

“Weren’t you trained never to point a gun at your partner?”

I've just thought when asked to look through something for someone that beyond the basic point of grammar and spelling/plot (eg something doesn't make sense or continuity) mistakes what else should people be looking for?

I'm probably going to be looking through stories/film scripts in the future but it just occured to me that there could be more I should be looking for. And I don't quite know what it is.

Any suggestions?

And another poem! :)

( Wicked )

Hello. I'd really love some feedback and have been disappointed with the lack of feedback from Facebook. Haha. So I figured this would be the best place to go!

Here's to a long and fruitful relationship! I think this poem is one of my best.

( Anthem )

This is a story I started working on while listening to Last of the Wilds by Nightwish. It is about faeries.

I would like feedback. Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes. I do not always catch them all.

I've been doing a lot of reading recently and it's made me very anxious to try and start writing again. I really enjoy. and would be looking to write some thing mythology/fantasy based, but the more I research the more I feel like everything has been done. Or, at least that there's a definite pattern in what stories/characters get used. Vampires would be the best example.

I was wondering if anyone had suggestions or knew of any useful resources/places to look that might help me think and possibly widen my options? Grateful wouldn't even cover my response if so.

Title: Of Acid and Marshmallows
Author: seiferre
Genre: Fantasy, Children's, Humor
Rating: G
Critique: If you would like to. :3 Mostly I'm just posting to share, but I'd like to see some comments.
Summary: Marshmallows don't consider it suicide.
Author's Note: This was mostly written for fun; I didn't intend for it to go the way it did, but I was satisfied with it. I wrote it for my sister.

( ...He was a marshmallow – sweet and fattening and perfect for hot chocolate... )

Current Mood: groggy

This is my first post on any kind of community site. I hope this goes alright.

Title: A Wild Song
Word Count: 386
Rating: G
Summary: Play me. Play me a song rich and deep. The violin. The violin wanted her to play its song...

(Suddenly the stage with the light cast on her vanished, and her hands and her mind played a melody atop a broken tower...)

Current Location: United States, New Mexico, Rio Rancho
Current Mood: confused
Current Music: Moon Light by Yamashita Tomohisa

So, I have a story in my heart (don't we all). But as I sat down to start it out I felt like I was pacing the story too quickly, I've put what I've written so far in the cut but it isn't much about three paragraphs. I didn't want to continue until I got some feedback about the pace, the content, all that jazz. So please, check it out!


( Mirror )

I was wondering if anyone believes its good to incorporate things that are actually going in your life into your story/stories?
Is it good to give your character "your problems" and see how they would deal with them?
Would it help you through the tough times or just make everything more difficult to express?

It sits on my tiled floor,
the same replicated in the next room, the next, and the next.
Beige fiberglass monolith,
thrill me with your timeless ring.
Landline, come alive now
as the one who lines my mind and my heart
calls to share his own.

I've gone and lost my cellular,
thank god.
Talking heads all around me regain the color of real flesh
to communicate souls
full of longing and vision.

It's nice losing your phone.
Empty of plastic vibrations,
my pocket cradles my right hand.
Now. Now.
Now.
Now I am here. I am here now.
I am not wasting time.